Hitting the Refresh Button
Confession time! It has been almost a year since I last published a blog. A lot has happened in the past 11 months. I’ve moved across the country, taken on a new professional role, sold a home and bought a home. I welcomed a new granddaughter and celebrated the wedding of my youngest daughter. It has been a crazy and wild year. And yet, that is life, isn’t it? We have seasons where life is calm, static, and predictable. And then, we have seasons of intense change, some good, some not so good. When we feel ourselves settling into life after a season of marked change, we might feel the need to push the refresh button on our lives. I feel that need right now and wonder if you might too.
Afterall, even if you have not moved, changed jobs, welcomed new loved ones into your life or perhaps said goodbye to family members you cherished, I think we can all agree life in general has changed. We are coming out of a global pandemic. We are facing dangerous inflation rates and the very real possibility of recession. Work life may look very different for you with remote work structures now becoming the norm. The global view is becoming more and more unsteady as well. And yet, we have the chance to push the refresh button and perhaps gain a new perspective.
I’ve experienced this need to refresh a few times in my life and over the years have found a few ways to make the most of the opportunity.
First, get rid of the shame you may be experiencing and take advantage of any guilt you may feel. Let me explain. In her most recent book Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown explains that guilt and shame are very different feelings. Shame says, “I am bad”. Guilt says, “I did something bad”. If you feel a need to refresh, you may be feeling shame and guilt. Just remember this piece of advice Brené shares. “Shame is not a driver of positive change...Guilt can drive positive change and behavior.” So do your best self-talk to get rid of any feelings that you are bad because you need a refresh and instead use any guilt you have to change course and set out to get back on track.
Second, spend some time reflecting on what is important to you. Sometimes, in all the change we experience our priorities change as well. Be thoughtful about the question “What is most important to me?” and use your refresh button moment to reframe your efforts in that direction. Have your priorities remained consistent? Great – you already know what it will take to get yourself moving in that direction so you can act quickly to get back on track. Have you found your priorities have changed? That’s ok, call it what it is so that you can act on the new vision.
Third, revise any plan you have accordingly. If you had a career plan and because of the change you’ve experienced or the new view of your priorities, your career goals have shifted then dust off your plan or create a new one! The key here is not to have an old, irrelevant plan that you are forcing yourself to live with, but instead to align your plan based upon the season of change you’ve just come through. Whatever your plan looks like now, have it in writing somewhere that you can access it often and measure your progress.
For me, the past year has been one of so much change including where I live, how I spend my days and my financial ecosystem (the financial system I live in) that it was easy to slip away from what was most important to me, saving for the future. Even a coach can lose sight of things in a time of constant change, and I lost some focus on the saving priority I had. Thus, the need for my refresh button. My husband and I reworked our budget and set up goals for saving and we’ve charted a new course toward those goals. We have a fair amount of catching up to do, but I am confident that with our new focus and our revised plan, we’ll get there.
Finally, name someone that can be your accountability partner. If you’re married it will quite likely be your spouse. It is for me. In my marriage I trust that between the two of us we will challenge each other on our spending habits so we stay on task. And, since we live together that is easy to do! If you are not married, get a family member or friend or perhaps even a coach, to keep you accountable. An accountability partner is so much more than someone who makes sure you’re following your own rules. Just as importantly, it is also someone who can motivate you, support you when you need it, and even help you evaluate your plan and if it needs revised.
I read a definition of what happens when we press the refresh button on our computers. The anonymous writer described refreshing as allowing our system to reload with the most up to date information. Information is power and when it is current, it is decidedly more powerful. So, ask yourself if you need a refresh, find the button, and hit enter.
